the abnormal qiqi's side is back. i lost my interest in almost everything. you see, i cant keep myself happy for long. sadly, but true. and thanks to dearest Pyja for passing me this booklet about despression which i think i have 4 out of 5 of the symptoms. beh ba? ape maksud nyer nie kasi i tu buku? suka tak? hahaha!

i cant stop laughing la kan. i was sharing with her about my weird2 feeling la. resah tk tentu pasal. cry for no reason. think too much. and she was like.. "eyy ba! nanti i pass u booklet nie. baaaiiikk nya. i pon same uh kan." and as promised. the booklet was given to me. suaaaaaarrrrrrr la lu sistaaaa. ahahaha! brought it home. and i left in on my bed and showered. and guess what. the moment i stepped out from the toilet. ibu questioned me.

"ila, ila sick ehh? asal ade buku pasal depression pat atas katil. tkmo mcm2 ehh. ibu tahu la kau suka gila2. nie betol2 dah tk betol ke??" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! cute or what siaaaaaa my mum? ahahahahaha!!! the moment she finish her last sentence. i didnt actually get what she meant la. UNTIL i saw that booklet in her hands. ya allah! baaaaaiiikk pah. mothers la kan. always worried for nothing. and mind you, i had a hard time making her believe that im OKAY. shanks eyy ba! ahahah.

alah. senang cakap la. once you work in medical line. confirm plus chop ade symptoms depression. depress bodoh tengok patient hari2. yang gila, yang biadap, yang cheeky, yang belo, yang irritating. semua laaa. but still. i love this line. minus the management please. thank you. =)

k cerita ada lari sikit ehh. tkpe aqilah munirah. nothing new aye? muahahaha! told ya. told ya! aku cnfirm dah gilaaaa. for now, only sheila get what i mean. i tried to explain to azry but i dont know how to put it in sentence. it's more to emotions rather then words. get what i mean? but the last part of the message *which apparently i dozed off* was pretty meaningful yet OUCH!.

looking forward for 2010 but at the same time, alot of things been happening which really test my patience. no kidding. EMPTY is what im feeling. and im done trying to make myself happy every single day. and tam, if you noticed. our conversations, aku bobual merepek2. smpai kau lost. kan? ahahaha! thats it. ah teh kau tk lama lagik siol. IMH. if i didnt make myself crappy. or talkative. i'll end up like that time when we all went for karaoke. orang nyanyi happy2. aku jadi bisu one corner. lost in own world.

excuse me IF i mia from all of you. i need some soul searching. i only need those who i always turn to, right now. the rest? give me some time okay. i'll be back. i promise. i just need some quiet time. yes dude, you too. and dont be emo. chiao~