Me: *thinking hard* ade ehh? ohhh yaaaaa... haha! wth f**n. that was like ages ago.
Him: yea. i still do remember ms.awesome one.
Me: if only you didnt do something stupid that scares the shit out of me. things wont be like this. i wont be thinking "that way" of you.
Him: aqilah munirah, can we start all over again? will you give me a chance to date u out again.
Me: *firm voice* NO. *kiss on his cheeks* friends. not more than that.
met someone whom i dated before early this year. totally random meet-up. someone cancelled on me last minute which he should be thankful that i didnt get pissed off thanks to my super instincts. i know he couldnt make it. so, plan B was to watch my all time fav indon movie on youtube - Eiffel Im In Love. and f**n called up. i was given like 30mins to bath and dolled up. no. lesser than that i thinked? fast game dowh.
and there goes our conversation in the car. only you and i know what really happen. what causes me to leave u and walk away after weeks of dating. and yes, ive learnt from my lesson. i dont believe in 2nd chances. no matter how hard you tried to fixed it. its broken. that negative thoughts i have cant be erased. im sorry. and like ive said to the rest, "i dont date anymore"
selfish whatever you called it. that shall remain until someone can break that mindset of mine.
cause i believed. everyone has their own choice. i had mine too. at some circumstances, i'll be in denial. too ego to admit that i do feel lonely, i do miss having a bf. but to think of the pain ive gone through.. i quickly brushed it off. and im thankful that i have those lovely peoples around me to hear my sorrows, my whining, my crying and stuff. like ive said to sheila "tkpe. buat bodoh la nie semua. aku syg kau.pasal aku tahu, klau orang ingat or panggil aku sundal pon, kau ttp syg aku kan?" and yes, that msged of mine did make the two of us cried. emo moments aye. funny too. hahaha! orang tu nangis pat toilet. sukaaaaa takk. cute uh kau tam.
and tam, please dont worry about me. i AM NOT dating anyone. ah teh kau good girl kan sekarang. im done searching. when it comes, then it'll come. no point looking for it. cause at the end of the, its not love. i've throwed my "potential BF list" due to some reasons. i want a clean record for 2010. no more these kind of stories. mcm tk game game gitu. aqilah munirah hang on baby. 4more days to go. \m/
"Got my fingers burnt, now when i think of touching your head.You have changed soo much that i dont know if i can call you and tell you that i cared." - So beautiful,Pete Murray
